don't let the sun see you cry

D'you know what you're saying? You're saying that we're a bunch of idiots who only score well because they know how to crap. That's almost as bad as saying "Art students are people who failed math."

And with you, it's just happening all over again. I hate how you cycle through friends so quickly. Over and over. Next year you'll be sick of her and you'll find someone else, but I'll still be stuck here on the peripherals. Or you might not. But I will be.

House is fabulous. And funny. "Get up. We're going hunting." "For what?" "Wabbits." Then they run around and pick up babies. "No, this one's fine, he's screaming."

Using Vox as a message board: All the pig-holders(you know who you are), we need to meet sometime and eat lots of good food. Dad wants to use up the RTC vouchers 'cause he's given up on the place(big waste of money it is) so what it means for you guys is hooray! Free food! Let us be merry, for holidays are nigh!

A sweaty-toothed madman with a stare that pounds my brain. His hands reach out and choke me. And all the time he's mumbling. Mumbling, "Truth, truth is like, like a blanket that always leaves your feet cold. You push it, stretch it, it'll never be enough. You kick at it, beat it, it'll never cover any of us. From the moment we enter crying to the moment we leave dying, it will just cover your face as you wail and cry and scream."

I need to stop being nice to people. :( But then I would feel guilty. Shit.

Also? Dude, I have told you my problem, and you are sort of supposed to be able to help. But you're not even going to try and fix it? That is not good customer service, girl. Rest assured I won't be buying anything from you for a while.

Must be a better this, this, and THIS. Will stop giving a damn: cannot change some things. Can change self. Will change self.

Will be better! Hooray. I am a happy girl.

This tea is fabulous. Tea lady? Have some more money.

I think I don't like people who aren't sensible. No one really conforms to my definition(which is probably incorrect), really, but generally people stay within the limits. I think being sad for attention is silly, and whining is silly, and inconveniencing others is something that I'd hate doing but I probably wouldn't mind being inconvenienced, and that's silly of myself. But I don't like it when people inconvenience others - even when it's not me, it feels irritating. Hmm. I don't know what I'm talking about. I guess that's kind of silly, too.

I don't like having negative thoughts.

I don't like it when people pressurise others into doing things. I don't like it when people do things for me too often; it makes me feel bad. I don't like it when people suddenly stop doing things for me either, because I'll be spoilt by then and sad because I've done something wrong. I don't like this flaw of mine.

I think my back is sore. Yeah, it is, fucking ow. Arms too.

I think that anorexia is the result of a warped self-image brought about by skewed cultural values, and I also think that young girls seem to think that anorexia is a good thing. "All the hot models are doing it!" I think I dislike this. I hate that people my age think that eating disorders are cool; it makes me scared and angry and sick to the stomach. I don't like being sick to the stomach.

I am completely in favour of the death penalty. I think sinking down to the killers' and rapists' and swindlers' levels would be an inaccurate description, because the minute you take a human's life or innocence, you are a waste of skin, a waste of breath, and a waste of whatever government subsidies got you where you are. Sure, every life is important, but killers don't deserve that privilege. Yeah, the system isn't perfect - people who should be alive aren't. But some people should be dead, and they aren't.

I think too much MSG is probably a bad thing.

I think this post is going to lose me lots of points.

I don't like the fact that if I was reading this, written by someone else, I would probably dislike the writer.

Posting in the short period of time it takes to print the newly edited copy of the script. I haven't been updating much, lately. A lot of shit happened. 2008? You suck more than 2007. You also rock a great deal more. I think. It's hard to view things objectively when you're in the thick of them.

Felt like shit for a day or two. Next year, I'm getting it right.

I guess sometimes I wish people could just get over things on their own, but it'd be kind of boring if everyone did.

Someone broke the clay bird whistle. I still don't know who, and that's only a little bit less upsetting than the fact it's broken in the first place. The whistle had memories attached, which made the whole thing terrible.

I know that schoolwork's supposed to take precedence over OM, but I keep wanting to just shove everything aside till 11/4, 11:38. I wish stuff would stop coming up right before Nationals, though. With all this effort I've put in, I'm worried that I'll go into another funk if we don't clinch a place in the top 3 at least. Well. We'll aim for Worlds, anyway, and make it happen.

It's the journey, just the journey, that's all that matters, the journey. Keep telling myself that, and it'll start to sound true.

Epiphany in the lift. I'm not afraid. I will not be afraid.

I am a rock dur hur hur.

JESUS CHRIST, SHISSOU.

God, I'm a sap. SHISSOU WHY YOU DO THIS TO ME. WHY.

Shit, just go watch it already. I'm gonna go cry some more.

Not weight-conscious, just thought it was funny.

Camp has ended. It's the last LSC for Sec 2s, which is a pretty sad thought, 'cause it didn't go as well as I'd have liked. I suppose nothing does, for anyone, but this is how it has happened, and I shall look back on it with fondness. The quadrangle is colder than a witch's tit at night, to be sure. I barely slept, and my fingers were tingling till almost two hours after I woke.

Things of note: Drama, in which I was a dragon and Joy a duck; overdosing on sugared biscuits, for which I blame Lynn; limbo on the laundry line(or rather, under); Mr Lim's Bohemian Rhapsody entrance; weird several-year long dream; the cultivation of deep, sexy voices; Lynn being much awesome; raping Celine's camera with ragingly incoherent commentaries(and of course, the Lip Show); and the nefarious jelly thief. I wrote many many puppet shows in my head about that one(or three) lousy bastard who stole my last three jellies. Mine, goddamnit.

Also, I ate Celine's arm, and instructed JT on the ways of arm-eatage. It was very tasty. JT is an inept student, but give the child time, and she will learn. I am confident of that.

There are lots of other things. Camp is quite insane, with extreme emotional highs and lows flying left and right. Kind of like school, but twelve times the intensity and thirteen the crazy. Moving on.

OM Singapore. For real. We are awesome.

CAP results this month, probably after block tests. I am worried. Blar.

I like Lady Madonna, and Being for the Benefit of Mr Kite.

Today: talks of recording, script of fa hui lifulness, cast decided and quite possibly most certainly set in stone. Revelations, angst, teenageriness. I am severely disillusioned and quite displeased.

And nausea. All fucking day.

Bile tastes yucky.

I love my OM group.

Yeah, that's all I got. What, you were waiting for more?